Sunday 26 October 2014

Sloppy Seconds - I Don't Wanna Be a Homosexual

  I'm not sure who made the video to this but it's a bloody good effort, it even gives you an idea of what to expect with an opening caption of "If you're easily offended now would be a really good time to fuck off." Really though, who but the most po faced could fail to chuckle along to the purposely school boy, tongue in cheek humour of Sloppy Seconds?
  Formed in 1985 and hailing from Indianapolis, they've been the self proclaimed Kings Of Junk Rock ever since, plumbing the depths of bad taste with their Ramones/Kiss influenced brand of pop punk. Song subjects include porn, alcohol, obesity, classic horror movies, comic books and old tv shows, all sprinkled with a sugaring of irreverent humour and couldn't give a fuck attitude.
  From their 1989 debut album, Destroyed, this is the lead track, I Don't Wanna Be A Homosexual.......

People are telling me that I'm missing out on the fun. 
'Cause I don't go anywhere, and I don't meet anyone. 
But I know how rumors fly. 
When you're a lonely guy. 
And I'm here to tell you it's a lie. 

There's strange things going on at night most everywhere. 
You know those places, well you'll never see me there. 
I walk by other men. 
And I don't notice them. 
But then those rumors start again. 

So I'm gonna tell the world. 
I Don't Wanna Be a Homosexual. 
I'm gonna find a girl. 
'Cause I Don't Wanna Be a Homosexual. 
I guess that it's okay. 
If other guys are gay. 
But my hormones are one-directional. 
And I Don't Wanna Be a Homosexual. 

Somebody tell me what I did to start this talk. 
Is it the way I look? Is it the way I walk? 
Is it the clothes I wear, 
that make the people stare? 
Is it the way I comb my hair? 

I'm only hoping maybe there will come a day 
When I can make them understand that I'm not gay. 
But 'till that day is near, 
I guess I'll live in fear. 
And I curse the day I pierce my ear. 

There's nothing wrong with me. 
I Don't Wanna Be a Homosexual. 
Know what I want to be. 
And I Don't Wanna Be a Homosexual. 
Soft boys and closet queens, 
think Judy Garland's keen. 
But I don't think she's nothing special. 
And I Don't Wanna Be a Homosexual. 

So now I'm wondering if maybe they're not right. 
'Cause I've gone all paranoid and I can't sleep at night. 
I went to see the shrink. 
What did the doctor think? 
I swear to god I saw him wink. 

I pray to God I'm wrong 
I Don't Wanna Be a Homosexual. 
Why did I write this song 
If I Don't Wanna Be a Homosexual? 
I hope it's not too late, 
for them to set me straight. 
I've got to see a real professional. 
'Cause I Don't Wanna Be a Homosexual, no! 
No no no no. No no no no no no no. 

I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be 
I Don't Wanna Be a Homosexual. 

I don't wanna go with guys named Shamus. 
I don't wanna be rich and famous. 
I don't wanna go to a French art festival 
and I Don't Wanna Be a Homosexual.

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