The Humdrum Express - Denim in the Dugout

  

  As I sit here typing, it's early on a Saturday morning, the skies are grey, rain is pouring, winter is slowly approaching. But that means it's football season and later today will be the first few of the 4th round of fixtures in the English Premier League. One of those will feature my team, Leeds United, who have made a promising start to the new season but who will be up against it in front of a large tv audience when they entertain a wounded and very dangerous Manchester City side. It should be a very entertaining game. But will either of the 2 managers, Marcelo Bielsa or Pep Guardiola be wearing Denim in the dugout? 

  Probably not. 

  But it is a trend that singer/songwriter Ian Passey has noticed sneaking into the beautiful game. Better known as his alter ego, The Humdrum Express (https://www.facebook.com/TheHumdrumExpress/), he's featured on here previously with his offbeat observationalism (songs about leopard print onesies and James Bond lookalikes) but during 2020 the Corvid pandemic and ensuing live venue lockdown has seen him struggling to whip up the enthusiasm for writing. This changed on the last day of the 2019-20 Championship season when he bore witness to the sight of Barnsley manager Gerhard Struber's euphoric celebrations as his side avoided relegation to League One. Whilst wearing skinny jeans. Not your typical managerial regalia but enough to inspire a song. 

  So after enlisting the aid of Carl Bayliss on drums, Ian has just released the fruit of his reinvigorated mind and you can find it here :   https://thehumdrumexpress.bandcamp.com/ 

  This is Denim In The Dugout... 

He used to wear a suit until he axed it
Found a casual substitute - stonewashed, relaxed fit
From Brazil to Bulgaria
On the touchline and technical area
Football managers are wearing jeans


They shelved sports wear; heard ripped slim fit looked hotter
When sported by Sean Dyche and Graham Potter
An assistant coach in shorts in December
Is an image I’d rather not remember, now
Football managers are wearing jeans


Brendan Rodgers often goes out shopping
The fashion league is one he dreams of topping
A recent acid-wash acquisition
Turned heads of those held back by tradition
Football managers are wearing jeans


Away fans crudely chanted “What’s he got on?”
“Dark blue, distressed, snug fit hard wearing cotton”
There’s outfit help for those in need
From Kenny Jacket and Neil Harris-Tweed


Neil Warnock’s flares flap in the breeze
Steve Bruce cuts a dash in dungarees
No foul committed, the ref says “play on”
Garry Monk’s transferred to spray-ons
Football managers are wearing jeans


2-0 down half time at Grimsby Town
His wardrobe and his team get a dressing down
Roy Hodgson still looks sharp in a suit, but
Wait till you see Bielsa in boot cut!


Excitement mounting on cup final day
Double denim droves down Wembley Way
A united apparel from dugout to crowd
Rossi and Parfitt would be so proud
Football managers are wearing jeans


Football managers are wearing jeans – It’s a real game changer!
Football managers are wearing jeans - A tactical jean-ius!
Football managers are wearing jeans - A victory over two legs!
Football managers!

The Humdrum Express - Lookalike Bond

 

  The Humdrum Express, aka Kidderminster based wry observationalist Ian Passey, previously graced Just Some Punk Songs with a song from last year's The Day My Career Died album ( http://justsomepunksongs.blogspot.co.uk/2016/08/the-humdrum-express-leopard-print-onesie.html ). Today he returns with the title track of his new ep.

  The ep is titled Lookalike Bond and is available now :  http://thehumdrumexpress.bigcartel.com/product/lookalike-bond-ep

  As well as the title track's humerous look at celebrity culture and the business of celebrity lookalikes the ep also features a cover of Television Personalities' Painting By Numbers and songs called If Only I'd Watched Blue Peter and Fading Stars On Social Media. Imagine Half Man Half Biscuit with less bile; one man, his acoustic guitar and a sense of humour.

  Here's the excellent video for Lookalike Bond.....

 Not one to stand out from the crowd, an average man on the street
I have to work long hours, but still can’t seem to make ends meet
People have always said I resemble an actor on TV 
I don’t quite know how I ended up joining a look-alike agency

The work was steady, with the opening of a sports shop and a bar
Hardly an insight into what it must be like to be a star
Until one morning, I awoke to find an unexpected twist
My double was named as the next James Bond, and overnight became ‘A’ list

My name’s Bond – well, they say dead ringer
My name’s Bond
My name’s Bond – You only live twice, Goldfinger
My name’s Bond… James lookalike Bond

I forged signatures in Cannes; when I was there to see the sights
Seemed a far cry from switching on some village Christmas lights
Factory hours, now even more a distant memory
Former workmates, I hear, are passing comment jealously

My name’s Bond – I’m so well dressed, exuding charm
My Name’s Bond
My name’s Bond – with a wannabe Honor Blackman on my arm
My name’s Bond… James lookalike Bond


I turned on the TV news, left me shaken not stirred
As the (money) penny dropped, my whole world crashed by what I heard
My doppelganger, is not all he’s cracked up to be
I’ll admit… it scared the living daylights out of me!

His list of crime seems endless, he’s facing 007 years inside
The press are out to get him, my high life’s on the slide
The public are alleging other serious matters
I think I’ll have to sue – my career’s in tatters!

My name’s Bond – The novelty’s wearing thin
My name’s Bond
My name’s Bond – At the mercy of my famous twin
My name’s Bond, James Lookalike Bond

I was tempted by the taste of celebrity and wealth – 
Fooled into thinking I’d be bettering myself
A small crumb of comfort to ease my loss of earning
Is the hangers-on have gone; and I doubt they’ll be returning
Fame based on looks, I won’t be such a fool again
But I felt I needed something to help to ease the pain
I sought medical advice in a bid to ease my woe
My GP said “sit down, Bond” - I said “Dr, NO!”

I’m not Bond – Forget the man I used to be
I’m not Bond
I’m not Bond – Must be someone else who looks like me…

The Humdrum Express - Leopard Print Onesie

   I was listening to (Enemies Of Promise's) Ade Bailey's excellent show last week when he played a song I'd not heard before which A) reminded me very much of Half Man Half Biscuit and B) had me thinking who the hell is this and why haven't I heard them before!  Before I get to who it was, I'll just mention that Ade's show goes out on a Tuesday at 8pm (UK time) and is required listening (his previous shows are saved in the Showreel section)..... http://mixlr.com/ade-b/

  The song he played that pricked up my ears was by The Humdrum Express, the alter ego of Kidderminster resident Ian Passey. Radio 6's Steve Lamacq is a big fan ("Brilliant observationally, part of me just wants to stand up & applaud") and there's been gigs with some of my favourite artists, Wedding Present, Half Man Half Biscuit, Hugh Cornwall, John Cooper Clarke etc so there's no reason for me not having discovered him sooner but better late than never.

  So far there's been 5 albums, All Aboard, Little Victories, Elevation Of Trivia, Clone Town Blues and the new one, The Day My Career Died, from which today's song is taken.

  The lyrics to this are so good and they're on the video which is nice. I'll be checking out more of Ian's work, hopefully you will too. This is Leopard Print Onesie.....